Fairy Tales Do Not Come True

Only the names have been changed to protect everybody.

I had been a "woman alone" for more than twenty years, not a single date, romance, significant anything, and I was okay with it.

But, I did have a weak moment where I said "God, would it be possible to just have one last try at romance, sex, the pretty pictures?"

Then, I went to a series of sort-of church related events, weddings, funerals, etc., and at each I encountered an old friend, recently widowed, always charming. After one such encounter I actually had a dream about him. It should be noted, I almost never have a dream peopled with anyone I know, or have known. So, I was intriqued.

This is where I got stupid, or imaginative, or really stupid. I wrote him a note. I said "its always a treat to visit with you, so if you're ever in my small town, do drop in."

And I forgot about it. Until, one day my phone rang. It was he. He was asking for the local phone number of mutual friends. In the conversation he brought up some other mutual friends in the neighborhood and suggested that sometime we might go have dinner with them.

A week or so later there was a message on my phone. Him again, asking if I'd like to go to dinner on Friday night. I screamed bloody murder for several minutes. I called him back, at a college basketball game, and yelled "heck, yes". And so he picked me up in a downpour on Friday night and we went out for Mexican food. He even called me from the highway after dropping me off.

After that he invited me to meet him halfway (joke, there) for dinner and a movie. We met. It was an ill-advised movie choice, "The Bucket List" about dying. After the movie we sat in his truck and talked about "us" and how there wouldn't be an "us". He was not at all ready for a relationship, didn't expect to ever be. Was in no way prepared to share his life with anyone. Certainly didn't want his family to think he was "seeing someone" or any such foolishness as that.

I promptly explained to him that I was not about to sign on to any such deal. After all, I had my standards! We parted. Within about ten minutes I called him back to say I'd give the "no relationship" deal a try. What did I have to lose? Probably should be noted that I had always suspected that he hung the moon.

Here it is a year and a half later. Guess what? I was right the first time. I couldn't do it his way. Dreams are for people who are asleep. Fairy tales are just that.

My question to me is: can I go back to life all alone? Guess so.