Death, 2012

When one reaches her seventh decade, a certain amount of dying is to be expected. This Spring started, a few weeks ago, with those "expected" passings. My dear family priest saw the passing of his mother. Juanita Williams was ninety five and failing perceptibly, even to herself. On a damp morning in Tyler, she was funeralized and buried. A friend's one hundred and six year old mother, long a nursing home resident, also passed away. Her memorial is next Sunday.

But the tide began to turn. While I was at the Tyler funeral, my co-worker found his older and ill brother dead at home of COPD related illness. The brother was but seventy four.

On Monday another co-worker, younger still, and alive still, was found at her water plant, down and unresponsive, the victim of a massive stroke. Thank goodness she was found promptly, provided excellent care both on the way to and at two fine hospitals. Today she stopped to say hello to all of us on her way to a bout of "rehab" (rehab is the operative word of this decade I think).

But sadder still, last evening we heard of a hideous auto accident in Northeast Texas that took the lives of a fifty seven year old grandmother and her darling little three year old grandson. Eli was the son of our friend and co-worker, Sarah, and her husband. He was the cutest little kid you've ever met. He had an extended family that adored him.

My point is, I expected to learn to deal with the deaths of those my age and older. Nothing prepared me for going to a memorial service on Monday for a three year old.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. How on earth do you console a mother on the loss of her little boy? How do you console a father on not only that loss but the loss of his own mother?

And an even thornier question, how do you sit through a Texas service where you are told that it is all "God's will?" It was an awful accident. Maybe it was even a preventable accident. It was an accident. I don't believe that the loving God I worship identifies a cute little three year old and marks him to die. I don't. And I don't want to sit quietly while someone says he did.

So, beside praying for this grief stricken family and town, please pray that I keep still and pray too for them. Please help them find some consolation and comfort as time goes by. I just don't know what to say or do but I know there will be a lot of tears shed for Eli.