Social Strata

I have identified another reason why I will never move up into the social upper crust.

Read an article, somewhere on this World Wide Web, the gist of which is that in higher society it is perfectly normal to invite old intimate friends to weddings. That is, the previous significant others, maybe from your whole life, are apt to be in the pews when you marry the new guy. His previous loves are just as likely to be there. At the reception everyone hugs or air kisses or whatever the currently acceptable greeting has become. One of the reasons cited for this capability is that the upper crust is such a small group that if you started eliminating all of everyone's "exes" there wouldn't be anyone left with whom to party.

I have forgiven almost everyone who ever dissed me, left me or broken my heart, and friends who have turned out not to be friends after all.

But here's where I stand on all of this. I live in mortal terror of the inevitable e-mail or phone call from someone who feels obliged to fill me in on the nuptials, pending or otherwise, of the man I adore who does not adore me. I don't want to know ... I don't want to know if she is young, beautiful, rich, smart or precious. I am pretty sure he thinks I should be introduced to her so that I will be able to see right off the bat why he chose her over me. All I know is that he did.

I don't dwell on it. I am actually getting through some days without re-playing the lines of the e-mail.

But I'm not going to any events where I might encounter them. Ain't doin' no "air kisses." Its not a matter of who she is or what she has. It is entirely a matter of who I am and what or whom I do not have.

So there is more to the social strata than just wealth and education ... there's my inability to pretend. I don't pretend very well.

I'm fine. I keep very busy. I have wonderful friends and I live in a great little town. (I do see some similarities to high-society and small town society, folks are interrelated in ways I never encountered in a city of four million) but I'm learning to keep my mouth more shut and my mind more open.

But there are still some places and some functions where you will not find me. I don't play games at all well and I can't pretend to be glad to see somewhat whom I'm not glad to see.