Acceptance

My Autumnal improvement program consists of attempts to change my attitude.  I think never complaining is out of the question.  However, my current goal is to minimize expectation and maximize acceptance.  Theory being I'll press for less and be nicer more.

In my mind, I'm a writer.  Much of what I write happens while I'm driving down the road and never makes it to a piece of paper.  People (my daughter) have suggested I spend more time actually writing, short stories or the like.

Most of what I have written in my working career has been about 30 to 60 seconds long.  Some have consisted of a series of related commercials.  Quite often I have had the pleasure of seeing or producing their finished product and listening to it or watching it.  Other times my writing has been speeches, newsletters, grant submissions and articles.  I have greatly enjoyed all my actual writing.  I have had a couple of bosses who found my writing mirrored their speaking or selling style and were complimentary.

But flying down the road I tend to script events and its a powerful case of going for the expectation.  I can pre-plan conversations, meet-cutes, enraged encounters with persons with whom I do not agree and wonderful outcomes relating to family, travel, entertainment and the future.

Obviously the downside is partial or total disappointment in the real moments of my life.  Balloons don't fall when they should, bumping into the right guy never happens, the man of my dreams turns out to be someone else's. Or little stuff, it rains on the day of the picnic or the voice on the other end of the line wants nothing to do with furthering my plans.

And so I will now try to place the emphasis on accepting what does happen whether I expect it or not.  I may be pleasantly surprised.  At least I'll spend less time feeling gypped.  I hope so.

Lots of people sing, or listen to talking books, or, I guess, just drive quietly observing the landscape.  Singing is mostly out and talking books don't work for me.  I shall attempt to do more unplanned observing.  I will also strive to focus on acceptance at my job, with my family, and at the grocery store.  No bitching or complaining about what actually happens.

Since having been told that this might be a helpful direction for me to take in this time of my dwindling life I have been trying, trying and trying to change.  It is not easy, when you've been writing how this evening, this visit, this job interview, this romance, really ought to go, my way, that is, it is not easy.

I shall endeavor to continue to try.  Here's to happier endings.